Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
