I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
