What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
