I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
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He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
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