Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
