she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
