So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize