jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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