Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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