I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
you never un-have a 4some
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
