M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
