Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Why is your signature on my underwear?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
