all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
