They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
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so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
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