I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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