I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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