dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
