Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
they call him Oral-B. enough said
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize