I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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