i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
