I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
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She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
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I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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