508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
