Non-Jews are for practice
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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