Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize