his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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