Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
