he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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