Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
