Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize