My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
