I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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