I need help removing her.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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