I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
