Plan B is the new Plan A
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
