yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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