My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
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