there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
