I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
