Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Shame - the story of my life.
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