He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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