I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
birth control should be required to get into college
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
