I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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