I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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