That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
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