My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
