I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
