He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
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My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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