Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
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This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
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I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
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