So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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