Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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