Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
