Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
