Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
