so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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