halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize