So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
