about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
