Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
